Letter Number 9: To the lady behind bars.

Dear Mrs. President,

I may not know much about politics, but I do know a thing or two about honesty. I was six when I read the story of the boy who cried wolf. Hasn’t anyone read you that story, Mrs. President? And hasn’t anyone told you that when you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth? 

I once had high hopes for you. I remember being twelve, on a lunch date with my family, in a local restaurant people applauded the resignation of President Joseph Estrada. But beyond that, I knew they were really applauding you. I felt the unfeigned cheers from everyone’s mouth, the goosebumps on every person’s body. You see, we saw you as our hope..a spot of green on a wilted leaf.

You were born from nobility. You have your father’s ambition and your mother’s fervor. But apparently, greatness is not something you can inherit. It’s actually something you have to make yourself up for. 

We believed every promise you made like we never heard a single lie in our life. We placed you our trust like we have never been betrayed by a president before. For once, we thought everything’s going to change. But it didn’t.

You had the brilliance, the power, and the passion of a leader. But you know what weapon you fell short on? Honesty. You have taken this virtue for granted that you forgot it’s the only thing that’s been keeping your people from falling apart. 

With honesty comes trust..and once the people realized you weren’t a trustworthy individual, they have struggled trusting you again even in times when you were probably telling them the complete truth. 

I felt sorry for all the Filipinos you have gravely disappointed. But watching the news, I realized the only person I feel sorry for is you. We Filipinos can move on from this tragedy, just as we had triumphed over our previous battles. But you, you will carry this guilt for a lifetime. And who knows maybe even after death when you will realize why you couldn’t enter the gates of heaven.

You are now reaping the fruits you have sown. Unfortunately for you, it taste bitter. 

Sincerely yours,

A Commoner.

Letter Number 8: To the seafarers.

You are stronger than depression and greater than loneliness. Nothing, not even the vast ocean nor the pissed nature, can entangle your way back home. You are tough and you do illustrious work even when under pressure - that's what makes you a true seafarer.

Nothing will ever exhaust you, as sailing is not meant for the weak hearts. The waves may at times be indignant, but you endure all that because you were fit to be bold, mighty, and brave. And those fears? It will never leave you. But you know in your heart that the more you fear the sea, the less you recognize what it has to offer. 

And at night you may get lost in darkness and despair, remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. It's a frightful travel to never know what lies ahead, but you are a seafarer - you best know that the journey is the destination and not the other way around.

The distance does kill you every second of everyday, but before you departed for the seas, you already primed yourselves with how much you are willing to lose for the gain. Good does not exist without evil, just as love doesn't exist without struggle. So when the waves get tough, you don't just quit. You know perfectly well the worth of what awaits you in those sunny shores.

You are a keeper for a woman's heart. You have stories to tell her and experiences to share. You were trained to be patient and persevering that you can outlast eternity at sea, knowing you have someone to look forward to when coming home. You don't sugar-coat words, instead you speak with integrity. And for once, she will believe a man's word like she never heard a single lie in her life.

To our heroes at sea, to the thousand nameless and ordinary sailors manning and operating ships at risk when we know where you'd rather be..we await for your return.


Sincerely yours,
The girl in the lighthouse. 

Letter Number 7: To the stranger.

I wrote this for you, and only you. Anyone else who chance upon this letter may think they understand, but they don't. You alone can fully fathom the words I'll be trailing this letter.

I looked back on our memories today. But wait, was it actual memories? We were never together but it felt too real for me. Looking back, I meant, was rereading the exchange mails we had for each other - how we have turned from a simple bystander to a now precious confidant.

It's funny how I've acquired a new ability of associating a person with other things, particularly you. How I remember you every time I see Tom and Summer together, even if I never really liked the movie that much. How I would look at the night sky and see something I never noticed before. You have always fascinated the moon and the stars that I developed a sudden enchantment in them as well.

At times I feel like it's unfair I never met you before - back when you were just a few distance away from where I am. And back when you have no exigency of sailing farther from me. But then I always arrive to a realization that there couldn't be a more perfect moment for us than now. I believe our heartbreaks ironically molded us into better persons for each other, and had I met you before that, you wouldn't have the warm-hearted princess that you now know. More so, perhaps our failed relationships were just a great rehearsal for a subsequent relationship in the future.

I know you think of me as someone who have taken you out from your misery. Someone who gave you endless advice. Someone who devoted time and effort in listening to your heartaches and rants about the mistakes you had in the past. But you should know, in your own way you made me see the possibility of moving forward in life no matter how terrible the grief. Because of you, I had the strength to go on. 

In a few days, we are to meet each other. And after that, who knows when we will cross paths again. It fears me to lose something I never really had in the first place. But if this never works out, I want you to know that I find myself thankful that you came into my life for even a short period of time.You have awakened my heart from a deep slumber, and I am forever grateful for the rare opportunity of being on cloud nine once again.

I am embracing what we have now, Nathan. Screw the circumstances, the possibilities of another heartbreak. Forget the past and just be with me in the present. For a moment I don't want to think of what lies ahead and please let that be. If I could just sit beside you and watch cheesy or crappy movies with you, I'd be perfectly blissful. Because there's really nothing I long for but your presence. 

I read a Chinese idiom that says "one day, three autumns," which means that when you miss someone, twenty-four hours can feel like a thousand and ninety-five days. And that's exactly how I am feeling right now. I miss your laugh, your voice. You.



Sincerely yours,
Cinderella

Letter Number 6: To the future boyfriend.

July 20, 2011

Hey you.

As I am writing you this letter, it has been 9 months since my first boyfriend and I broke up. I don't regret our lost love because if it hadn't ended, I would have not met you. In my past relationship, I hadn't been a perfect girlfriend. I had my fair share of tantrums. I get jealous. I get mean.

Forgive me, I am just a girl with sensitive needs and wants.

I'm okay if you're not perfect too. I will love all your faults because that's what makes you who you are. In fact, I will love you more because of it.

I won't say I'm a different person now. All I know is that I have improved over time. Time has healed the scars of my once tragic story and now I am ready to love again. I cannot promise you the world but I can give you something, something you have the power to break - my heart.

With you, I promise to love more and fear less. With you, I promise to neither care about the past nor the future, but rather, enjoy what we have at present. With you, I promise to give the utmost care I could give with no expectations in return. All I want is your heart in exchange of mine.

I may not know you yet, but I know you are out there. Perhaps I've seen you, but not know who you are. Perhaps you are here with me in this crowded room. Perhaps you are in a wrong relationship. I may not know you yet, but believe me when I tell you that I love you with all my heart.

Sincerely yours,

The future girlfriend.

Letter Number 5: To the almost lover.

December 10, 2010

There were days when I have almost forgotten you. Each day is an attempt to convince myself that you are gone, and every night is a promise that tomorrow I move on. But it would always be like this, isn't it? That I come so close to forgetting about you or at least telling myself I have, when you pop up again.

I remember one dreadful night when I saw you smiling over a text message. That's when I knew. That's when I knew the rumors were all true. That you have found someone else to replace me with. It's really hurtful, you know, when the person you'd take a bullet for is the one behind the trigger.

How did it all happen anyway? How did you evolve from being a gentleman to becoming a complete asshole? And please, tell me how our almost perfect love story went wrong because all I could remember were the arguments, but I couldn't really recall the reasons behind it anymore. But I guess digging up the past will only open up long forgotten wounds and right now, I don't know if I can bear another dose of pain.

The memories still haunt me, you know? The petty fights. The sincere apologies. The big dreams. Yes, the plans we had for each other that you had taken with you when you walked away. Now I am left with nothing. But for that, thank you, because only then that I had the courage to build dreams on my own.

Looking back I realized that perhaps I had pushed you too far. But haven't you figured it all out? That when I push you away, you should know I am getting attached. But I could only wished you held on tighter. And when I told you I was thinking of breaking up that was an invitation to fight for me. Not give up. Not tell me you don't love me anymore. Not break my heart. No, definitely not that.  Perhaps I deserve someone who can love me not only on my good days, but my bad days also.

And so here I am, still haunted by all the memories. I guess the time we spent apart made me realize that a part of me will always love you. You were my first love, anyway - and you have become my sweetest downfall. But don't worry, in time I'll find someone to love, and maybe then I'll forget about you.

Sincerely yours,

Hamaswee.

Letter Number 4: To the Father.

Could you tell me please which way I ought to go from here? A teacher once told me that I should only do the things that I love. But life doesn't work that way, and so I have  learned to just love the things that I do. I have always been the person to take the road less traveled but as I grew up, my fears started to grow also and I started to become the person I never wanted to be. A coward.

Could you tell my grandfather that I miss him? That I did my hardest to save him and I would have appreciated it if he fought back for his life. It frightens me to think that I may never see him again, when people say that heaven's just a myth.  

Could you tell my wrecked-up friends that everything's gonna be okay? That there's more to life than just break-ups and rainy days. There is a reason for every crack in the road and every drop in the rollercoaster even when it isn't discernible from the start. I hope they realize that you wouldn't put them through anything they cannot handle. 

And Father, could you please teach me a thing about letting go? I know ultimately I won't win every fight and I'm already so tired. I cannot hold on to anything that wants to go. I fear the day when people will know that every time they asked how I am, all the I'm-okay-lines were just lies. Forgive me for I haven't been as strong as you thought I would be.

Sincerely yours,

The prodigal daughter.

Letter Number 3: To the first love.

July 22, 2010

In exactly 7 hours and 5 minutes, it'll be 5 months since the day I said yes to you. And yeah, I kept count because I want you to know how every minute of my existence with you means so much to me. How every single day since the day I met you have been the best day of my life.

It still amazes me how you make me fall for you each day. But this is beyond gravity. And it's not just love I'm talking about here. It's the happiness I feel whenever you're beside me. It's the unexplainable weakness you spur from your deep meaningful stares.

I have learned in the process that love is a never-ending battle between the heart and the mind. But if I love you now, then what else matters? All I know is that when I wake up in the morning and think of you, I smile. When I'm in the shower and a thought of you comes in, I sing. And when at night you tell me you love me, I believe.

Love, each day with you is like living in a fairy tale. You have become my prince who freed me from the prison I held so high. And yet the assurance of a happy ending still seems uncertain for us, but one thing I'm sure of - you're the only person I wanna give my forever to. You taught me how to love and for as long as I live, that's how I'll remember you.

Sincerely yours,

The princess.

Letter Number 2: To the best friend.

November 14, 2008

We have been best friends since the day we were in diapers. We basically grew up in the same neighborhood. We attended the same institution since kindergarten. We even wore the same clothes back then. When we were kids, we thought nothing in this world can separate us from each other.

But growing up, we realized that life can offer us many different directions. That no matter how hard we try, we have to do different things, be in different places and live different lives.

I understand that you now have Vince with you - a boyfriend and a bestfriend all rolled into one. In fact, I am happy because it seems you have someone you really care about who also cares about you. But what kind of relationship do you have if you never get to spend time with your friends?

I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I see you, but I can't hear what you're saying. I miss every little thing that we used to do - the silly games and mischief, the laugh-til-you-cry jokes, and the crazy conversations about what we will be in the future. I miss the inseparable twins that we were.

I love you still Yen. Though I may never send you this letter, I do hope you feel my incredible longing for a best friend. No one can ever replace you. For now, time and distance are keeping us apart, but I know ultimately our friendship will always lead us back to each other.

Sincerely yours,

Bestie. 

Letter Number 1: To the world's greatest brother.

November 30, 2007

In my sixteen years of existence, I have never been separated this far from you. My heart can no longer encapsulate my yearning for someone at a distance. This may sound a little weird but I miss you. I really do.

This twilight, while everyone else is dreaming and there's no one for me to speak with, I miss you.

I miss the movie marathons we'd had due to boresome afternoons in the harbor. I miss our karaoke moments when we would sing our hearts out notwithstanding the unreachable notes of Josh Groban and Mariah Carey. I miss the summer before my freshmen year when you handed me a piece of paper engrossing the things I should say in front of the crowd. Yep. That was how much you wanted me to experience a perfect high school life. Your encouragements I miss - I wouldn't had the guts to take the risks I dared if it weren't for you. You had always been someone whom I can draw strength from.

You're the kind of person any family would be proud of. I am proud of how you journeyed with flying colors. I am proud of you for winning the student council presidency election. I am proud of you for being an exchange-student in Ateneo. I am proud of you for earning the Business Plan Competition award. I am proud of you for being a part of the Ayala Leadership Congress. I am proud of you for receiving an achievement award on your graduation day. I am proud of you for grabbing the Johnson&Johnson job offer, and having the courage to quit it. More than ever, I am proud to have you as my brother.

I just don't see you as Gian, my kuya - but Gian, someone to be looked up to. I see you as someone I could never be.

Yeah yeah, Angeli is in senti-mode. Well your clueless mind does not possess the fact of how much I anticipate your homecoming. For the whole lot of your 22 years in this world, I hope you're not just a year older, but a year better. Happy birthday Kuya!

Sincerely yours,

The world's greatest sister.